I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize