Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize