Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
