When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize