I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
