He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
