So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
