So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
