I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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