New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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