C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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