you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
