Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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