Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
