we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
