he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
