This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
