He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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