i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
there is puke in my bra ... again
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