just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize