so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
