well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
