goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
