Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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