Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
