they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
