The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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