sarcasm needs its own font
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
