No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
