2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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