I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
