dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
