I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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