Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
