And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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