My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
