idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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