I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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