you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
