oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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