I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
