You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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