I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
