Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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