I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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