Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
