Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Randomize
