pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
