I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
