I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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