love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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