he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
