Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize