Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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