Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
