Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
