i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
