Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
