No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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