you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
