so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize