I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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