is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
