why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
