is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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