I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
