so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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